Tag Archives: frustration

Bygone Be Gone

      This year I’ve started the process of reducing the amount of non-art in my life. I’ve also started to do those things I’d avoided until now.

     The first thingis getting my furnace repaired; it caught fire a couple of years ago and I’ve endured some bad winters huddled in one room of my house.

    I had avoided fixing things because to do so meant conversations with my ex. That’s it. 

   On a similar note, I’ve paid for my mental health and physical injuries myself. After watching my dad’s frustration with the VA ( veterans administration), I was loathe to visit them, even though I was medically discharged and had received extensive psychiatric care. I just didn’t want to be deconstructed for a couple of dollars. Plus I was fine, I continually lied to myself.

    I started working on the floors upstairs in my house this weekend. I always had a reason to procrastinate. But I’ve decided that my house isa physical manifestation of my mental health and self-esteem. So shit gets fixed.

   Broke up.

    My art is now on display in my nearby comic store. They framed it and had me sign it, so they must like it…

     And I have a few vehicles to get rid of. Maybe I shouldn’t, but honestly I feel that I need to. 

I’ve been asked to do the covers for a few indie comics. With pay! So there’s that. I’m feel like I’m starting to get a set of goals. We’ll see.

   Last year I lost 60 pounds. This year I’ll settle for 40 more.  And the hair.

   I still don’t know about the hair.

No Year Love

    Yesterday,a after a weekend of cosplay and muscle cars, I decided to take a little time to relax. There aren’t many places in my small suburb where a person can do so; Starbuck’s being one of those. So I found a corner table slipped on my headphones, Irished up my green tea and got to work.

     Since I am a fan of auto racing, I begin to draw. I heart radio was playing American top 40, but I had a problem.
     People kept interrupting me.

     I get it. I’m doing something you find interesting and you have questions. But headphones are the universal sign for “do not disturb”.

    One guy in particular was a complete ass about it. Finally came and stuck his hand right in my face while I was in the middle of doing line work. Which caused me to mess up. Which caused me to freak out on him.

  That’s me. I am not a small man. So me standing up and telling him “if you stick your hand in my face again, I’m going to break it in several places before I return it!!” had the effect I wanted. But I hated it because my mood was completely ruined. Worse, I was angry and it’d take awhile to relax enough to be in my groove again.

I went outside. Just sat at a table and stared into traffic until I calmed down. I started drawing. My only happy place.

Trespassers beware.