Once upon a time, I used to want to go into space. I was good at math and thought I wanted to fly. Then I chased a bullfrog into one of those rain culvers under a dirt road….
….and got stuck.
I went from annoyed to scared fast. I yelled for help, no one heard me. It took about an hour and I found that I could only go forward, so that’s what I did. I stayed calm and freed myself.
Later I watched the Android Bishop do the same thing in the movie “Aliens” and had an anxiety attack. I didn’t know what it was; I just couldn’t breathe and felt as though the room was closing on me. Then I learned that you have to be strapped in and still for training and actual missions and I knew that wasn’t for me.
I needed to be free.
But I never lost my love for space. Watching the shuttles, Voyager, Skylab. It all seemed so, BIG.
Then, one day, I was given a chance to work for NASA, as a contractor. The people bringing me in didn’t know it, but I was so excited!! By then we had Hubble and we’re building the International Space Station. Still launching shuttles. Getting ready to go to the moon again. I was proud to have a PIV card that said that I was at Goddard Space Flight Center. It made me so happy.
But I forgot that happy is a temporary state.