I wish I could show you how much my life is affected by nightmares. There are a lot of days where everything is fine. I can take a lot at that time, few things bother me. But I’m not having peaceful nights.
I have vivid nightmares connected to my service time. No, I won’t say what; just know that I wake up being completely terrified. I eventually become depressed. It’s a cycle and I dread it more than anything.
Daytime helps. When I draw, I find it odd that whatever emotion I felt in those dreams come back. A lot of good has come to me through art. But when I first noticed this trend, I stopped drawing. Completely.
Can you imagine? That’s like a duck moving into the desert! I just didn’t do anything that gave me a creative outlet.
Finally I slowly began to start drawing again. Other artists began to challenge me and welcome me.
The nightmares started after an 18 year gap.
I went to therapy. I even took some time as an inpatient when I became suicidal. I’m not ashamed to say I needed the help, badly.
Anyway I never will win that battle. I know that. It’s not a big deal anyway. I have goals about what I want to achieve that have nothing to do with who I was. I may not always be okay, but I can get past it.
It seems weird to see people stealing art to me. By stealing I don’t mean theft in the traditional way. I’m talking about claiming someone else’s credit and pieces.
I once had an experience that showed me how awful a practice this was, where someone in high school took one of my original pieces, traced it and begin to claim credit. Then he sold mine!
Needless to say I was very shocked and angry when I found out about this. I confronted my art teacher. You know what she said? “You shouldn’t get so attached to it”. That’s it. I laughed in her face and said “Of course. You steal kids art all the time, why should I expect a sham artists to get it?”
Then I went out and beat the crap out of that kid. Yeah, yeah…life isn’t always about positive lessons. And I felt much better afterward.
I am a lot older now, but the lesson of that moment, over time, has only been reinforced. Just as there are fake soldiers claiming to be warriors, there’s always going to be faux artists.
If you are one of them STOP IT! Work at your craft! When I hear people put down hardworking artists who’ve paid their dues in thousands of hours of practice. It usually because seeing that level of talent makes them feel inferior. But everyone had to learn and get better. Hell, I still have a LONG way to go! But step by step I’m on the journey.
The path is a well-known one. So get on!
Just a quick sketch of Dean Winchester from the show “Supernatural”.That is, if I gave him less forehead, lol! I’m actually getting ready to create a piece with the Winchester and Ventures. It’s going to be a two part image, juxtaposing supernatural against superscience. In the meantime I’m doing thumbnails with stickies☺
Hope you guys enjoy it! I’ve got to get back to work. Later.
Try not to take things personally. I had a friend of mine share an old picture in which she was laying down in the tub.
I’ve done something sort of like this before, but this time I decided to leave the character human. I wasn’t sure about it, so I made this thumbnail.
Of course, it evolved a little as it went. The hair was easy since I’ve drawn in a comic book style before. It was creating the underwater effect that took a little consideration. Still, this was the time to try things out.
Don't fear fuck ups
I wanted her to appear innocent so I had to change her expression a tad…
….but in the end it felt close to what I want my final image to be. In the meantime, I hope you like the thumbnail! I’m leaving them all over my hometown ☺