Category Archives: life

Memory

So… I’ve been packing like crazy. My move is next Thursday and my surgery is next Wednesday. I’m transferring a lot of my utilities and mailing address, paid off my car, finished eight podcasts for a series…

I’ve been busy.

Part way through the week I realized that I’d forgotten to post my video! So you guys will get a two for one this week 😉

I went out of my way to portray a feeling last week. Have you ever had someone cheat on you and suddenly realised that their behaviour made sense in hindsight? Like…

… someone who is always staring at and texting on their phone…but never responds to YOUR text messages?

And now you know…

That naive moment, when you can’t understand you’re miserable, but you still WANT to believe in them so badly. It’s a hard lesson to learn from a moment that seems so innocent. Until it’s not.

Finish Strong

I have one last step before I close on my house and it gets underwriter approval; the inspection. I’m so nervous! I keep telling myself that it’s no big deal and that I don’t need a roof over my head, it’s not like I’m being evicted, lol.

It’s very hard to lie to yourself.

Anyway, to pass the time, I finished the Shelby. It gave me a sense of satisfaction and helped me focus. It’s amazing how sometimes art whets my appetite to create more and others I just feel drained and relieved. With this, I just swiveled my chair around and started anew.

Don’t mind R2, he’s a pet

But that’s for next week. In the meantime, be safe and enjoy the following video. Later! 😊

Lots of work and a big decision…

Hey guys! We’ll, let’s not stand on ceremony; I found my next house! (I hope) I’m going through inspections and appraisals now, but my financing is already in place, so hopefully in late March I’ll be closing 🏠

Unfortunately… I’m having to make a choice to move on from someone. With my mother dying from COVID last year, I slowly came to realise that I no longer value having constant companionship. So…

Yeah.

Anyway, my life is changing in other ways as well. I’ve already set goals for this year, and looking forward to achieving them. Quite a few are art related, so you get to come along my journey. Isn’t that fun?…

So look for me to start paying a little more attention to this page. And here’s what you were REALLY waiting for, lol. One more vid to completion!

Paint and clear coat

Temporal Confusion

Holy cow, it’s Thursday! I owe you guys a whole video! Sorry about that. I’m still running around in hyperdrive from work and the days are sort of blending; I made someone a video production slate that said it was Tuesday! Ugh…

I’m trying to be more attentive to my craft this year. I’m also in the middle of home shopping. But you guys aren’t here for that, lol. So here’s my latest project and I hope you like it. This is part 1. Part two will be Monday, I promise. 🙂

I started this drawing in Adobe illustrator, so that I’d have clean lines.

Enjoy your weekend 😉

Burn Baby, Burn

Hey guys! Sorry about last week, but as some of you know I work in the wonderful wacky land of Washington DC. So…last week was hectic and interesting. ’nuff said.

THIS week has been a bit challenging to me. I’ve started the banking process to having a new home! Because hearing my neighbors constantly during a quarantine is a terrible fate for me.

I know that some of you miss the different steps being shown; I want to include those too, but that would entail me scripting my workflow and honestly?…

I don’t know if I can.

Once I’m going and into the flow, I kind of forget that there’s a world outside of my focus. That’s why the videos have been easier; no need to remind myself to take a snapshot.

Still… I managed to make a collage for an event for this year. Will it happen? So far it’s hard to say. But at least you can see what I look like 🤣

Anyway, it’s nice to work from home again. I definitely don’t miss my 1.5 hour commute!

Here’s a timelapse of my latest portrait. I always feel weird about showing my initial sketch. I’ll probably start omitting that and leaving in the linework. We’ll see.

Have a great week 😊

Add a Little

Hey guys! The holiday is over and we can all go back to not feeling guilty about not having a postcard life. I didn’t call anyone; there’s no one to call anymore.

Anyway, I’m working at creating new art, so here’s a video of a previous piece that I worked on. Like most, Chadwick Boseman played a lot of characters, but it was his role as Tchalla, the Black Panther, that made me happy.

When he passed it felt so unfair! I had to do something with that energy. So like many of my fellow artists I did a picture of him.

This is the video of that process. Enjoy.

Make it Real

I had a dream that I came face to face with a Great White. It wanted to eat me, or at least have a taste, both of which would have been fatal. I told it no and I had to convince it to not kill me. It’s answer would be to either destroy me or swim away. So did I survive?

I don’t know. I woke up first.

But I definitely had the sensation of something very old and powerful deciding my fate. I was scared, just staring into black eyes that felt like stars. I was in water but it didn’t feel like anything else lived there. I couldn’t feel anything but water. It felt deep, like being in the mouth of an uncaring whale.

So I had to draw it, but I lost some of the details in waking. And that feeling of unease is still with me, even now.

It hasn’t decided. Yet.

ALL the Stars

It’s been… interesting watching the responses to Chadwick Boseman’s passing. He was important to some people and overrated to others. But to me, he reinforced the idea that I can leave on my own terms.

It has a certain appeal.

In the last few years, I’ve had a classmate and a friend in the cosplay community die unexpectedly. By unexpectedly, I mean one I hoped would be okay, but knew she was battling illness; the other I had NO clue.

It sounds weird, but having a terminal diagnosis, at least to me, allows you to grieve you. You get to determine what your loved ones deal with, get yourself in order. It gives your remaining time clarity.

So yeah; I can see him not wanting the pity awards. Ledger did an awesome job as the Joker, but you always have to wonder how much of that was a lifetime achievement award. We were applauding a young talent, not knowing how briefly he would hear the praise and appreciation. He was our first REAL leading man superhero, who’s origins weren’t a gang or a ghetto. He’ll always be that for me.

Sorry no beginning. My capture software crashed! Not bad from memory, though…

Dancing Pants

Well, I finished! After several trips and lots of stress I can relax a little. So I spent the night finishing my painting and making a clip of my work 😊

I try to be positive as much as possible, but sometimes it’s a difficult task. But I’m starting to separate my grief from my daily life.

I’m already starting on a project that would have been timely a week ago. With video! Should be fun.