Category Archives: relationships

Specific

Okay… I’m going to try something for the first time.

I’ll tell you WHY I drew something. If you guys like that I may share more stuff like it. WARNING!! It may suck, lol. Anyway…

I drew this picture of my son’s mother, my ex-wife. We talked for mother’s day and afterwards I felt physically ill. She was the love of my life and I still miss her everyday. So I was hit with this certainty that I didn’t exist anymore. I wanted to scream and I wanted to ugly cry.

I started drawing instead.

I did it as fast as I could. I just drew her like she was in the shower, except the water is mine. My tears. And NO ONE would know that. Unless I told them.

So as I went along, creating this little slice of my psyche, I began to feel better. So now you know.

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CareFree

Believe it or not, I actually had artwork ready for last week. But I ended up two states away at a hospice center, watching an old aquaintance pass away.

It was interesting in a terrifying way.

I’ve seen people die. I’ve caused it as well (do NOT recommend). But that’s pretty quickly over. You can’t process everything and it leaves you a little dazed.

This was… different.

First the call came and I drove to North Carolina where my friend had retired. I thought he was hurt. Then they explained and I told them that I hadn’t seen him in over a decade. It was awkward. We weren’t super close. But I decided to stay.

I have never had someone look so happy to see me. EVER. We talked a little, got caught up. My brain was having a hard time processing that he wasn’t just….in the hospital. You know? Like he’d get better somehow.

His biggest fear was that no one would come. “I couldn’t think of anybody, man. I was a little scared”.

….

What could I say? Having noone there is pretty much a horrible thing. When he turned and stop talking, I got a break. The nurses thanked me for coming and wanted to hear how I knew him. The more they asked the less I could answer. Finally the question came…

Why did you come?

Those places are very religious. He talked a lot about the Lord and what he believed. Sometimes he just stared at me, like he was trying to memorize my face.

Eventually he was gone.

I drove home. During the drive I thought about how I had pulled away from friends and family. Three years ago, I had tried to end my own life. I thought about this stuff over and over.

Anyway…it was a busy week.

Do try die

I finished this project for someone new. She doesn’t know about the blog. She just thought the image was cool and I agreed.

We talked.

And I was really enjoying myself until this voice inside me asked, very quietly, “what are you doing?”

I finished her picture and packed up my stuff. She seemed confused and I couldn’t explain. We parted. I’ll try to never see her again.

Because #skyphoenix never forgets and the stars haven’t burned out yet.

Halloween

I made it! A buttload of pictures were completed for #inktober! Including a very special one…

So, it’s never come up but I have a couple of wily and fun ginger sisters in my life. I’ve drawn them before as Jean Grey and Dark Phoenix; it seemed appropriate, given the personalities involved. But one of them REALLY loves Halloween. So… I made her the Goblin Queen!

I started out with a couple of thumbnails to get the design I wanted.

Then I did a rough sketch. This is when I decided to add a pet goblin. A queen needs her subjects!

After doing a clean line version of my image and choosing a pallet, I begin coloring, doing the leather and skintones first.

Next came the cape. If you know the character, you know her original design by Marc Silvestri was very sketch and tattered looking. I didn’t want to go THAT far, but still wanted to stay in the spirit of the original.

Next I added some background accents. I was going to make it feel a little more Dante at first, with suffering souls and all that. But I decided against it.

Finally I added an appropriate sidekick and made sure all of the focal light fell on the main character.

My friend was really happy with her gift. But I’m no dummy. I have to draw the other one soon. They ARE sisters after all.