Category Archives: relationships

Memory

So… I’ve been packing like crazy. My move is next Thursday and my surgery is next Wednesday. I’m transferring a lot of my utilities and mailing address, paid off my car, finished eight podcasts for a series…

I’ve been busy.

Part way through the week I realized that I’d forgotten to post my video! So you guys will get a two for one this week 😉

I went out of my way to portray a feeling last week. Have you ever had someone cheat on you and suddenly realised that their behaviour made sense in hindsight? Like…

… someone who is always staring at and texting on their phone…but never responds to YOUR text messages?

And now you know…

That naive moment, when you can’t understand you’re miserable, but you still WANT to believe in them so badly. It’s a hard lesson to learn from a moment that seems so innocent. Until it’s not.

Lots of work and a big decision…

Hey guys! We’ll, let’s not stand on ceremony; I found my next house! (I hope) I’m going through inspections and appraisals now, but my financing is already in place, so hopefully in late March I’ll be closing 🏠

Unfortunately… I’m having to make a choice to move on from someone. With my mother dying from COVID last year, I slowly came to realise that I no longer value having constant companionship. So…

Yeah.

Anyway, my life is changing in other ways as well. I’ve already set goals for this year, and looking forward to achieving them. Quite a few are art related, so you get to come along my journey. Isn’t that fun?…

So look for me to start paying a little more attention to this page. And here’s what you were REALLY waiting for, lol. One more vid to completion!

Paint and clear coat

Ginger means Red

I have a LOT of red haired female friends. Some are natural, some not. Most are green eyed, a couple are blue. It’s become a challenge to draw them all.

Of particular interest is their hair. A wild combination of orange, yellow tan and brown. It’s always fun to get the mixture right.

This time though, I specifically decided to try to create a more cartoonish look.

I’m sure that I could have gone more over the top, but she was very happy with the end result. In the end, that’s what matters. And since I finished in one sitting, I recorded it! Enjoy and have a nice week!😊

ALL the Stars

It’s been… interesting watching the responses to Chadwick Boseman’s passing. He was important to some people and overrated to others. But to me, he reinforced the idea that I can leave on my own terms.

It has a certain appeal.

In the last few years, I’ve had a classmate and a friend in the cosplay community die unexpectedly. By unexpectedly, I mean one I hoped would be okay, but knew she was battling illness; the other I had NO clue.

It sounds weird, but having a terminal diagnosis, at least to me, allows you to grieve you. You get to determine what your loved ones deal with, get yourself in order. It gives your remaining time clarity.

So yeah; I can see him not wanting the pity awards. Ledger did an awesome job as the Joker, but you always have to wonder how much of that was a lifetime achievement award. We were applauding a young talent, not knowing how briefly he would hear the praise and appreciation. He was our first REAL leading man superhero, who’s origins weren’t a gang or a ghetto. He’ll always be that for me.

Sorry no beginning. My capture software crashed! Not bad from memory, though…

UPload

This week I learned that putting a house 1100 miles away that you inherited on the market is hard. I ended up driving to Alabama. I’ve had very little sleep, lol.

But enough of that. I’m doing another female bodybuilder, yay! I get asked if that’s all I draw or is it a fetish or something. The answer is no. But I have been a powerlifter since I was 16. So I have traveled in the same circles.

Plus, women in general tend to be more receptive to being drawn. It’s a little flattering and you get to see yourself the way that the artist does. Most women I’ve met who lift weights tend to be a bit more confident and self assured. They aren’t manly at all; most are so girly and giggly that it’s kinda sweet.

Also, a few haven’t had a lot of self esteem. Changing yourself, your body through an act of will is very empowering. Once you conquer you, you feel as though you can conquer anything!

So I end up trying to capture this for them. They get a lot of flak and unjustly so. Hopefully my art makes them feel appreciated.

Life goes on

My mom passed away.

It was Coronavirus. She fought for as long as she could. Over a month. All we could do was hope. We couldn’t visit, couldn’t console. We couldn’t stay in her home, our home. She passed away on the 4th of July.

So I haven’t been able to draw. We’ve been making arrangements, trying to settle things. It’s a surprisingly difficult thing.

I’ve been angry with her church. More specifically, with the arrogance and stupidity that lead to my 71 year old mother being infected during a pandemic.

I finally got back to drawing. Time never stands still. And no one is as isolated as they think.

I know…it seems inappropriate. I had to start with the last project I was given. It’s probably why it took me so long.

Anyway… thanks for being patient while I worked through my grief. You guys are the best, thank you.

Centered

Sorry I haven’t been around. I have drawn some art, but I had a reason to be away.

My mom contracted Covid-19.

So I have been doing my best to make decisions and help with her care, to make sure she RECEIVED care and to find a way for her to know that she was loved, even though we couldn’t be there physically.

She’s in her 70’s, but she is recovering. Also, small town America has no idea what’s about to happen to it. Her entire church (Yes, they STILL went to church) has been infected. Several have died.

So I continue to draw and edit videos. I have a time lapse video of this week’s drawing, but it’ll take awhile to compress it and speed it up.

Plus I’m told that I’m going between genres too often. Well, I try to be consistent, but I’ve been occupied. Hopefully things will get better.

Put It on the Fridge

Happy Mother’s Day! I got to talk with my mom bright and early yesterday. She’s in her 70’s but still has all of her brothers and sister and her mom. Clearly longevity is a family trait.

We were talking and she revealed that she keeps up with my art and loves seeing the stuff that I create. I was surprised by this, but in hindsight I should not have been.

She was my first fan.

When I was a toddler, she gave me my first paints. When I was in kindergarten, she used to put my pictures on the fridge. And when my teachers would complain about me drawing on homework, she bought me typing paper, which was a big deal for me. I had paper just to draw!

So yeah…my mom was always encouraging me. She was stern sometimes, keeping me on the right path, lol. But I never felt that my mom didn’t love me. And I had no idea that she follows ANY of this.

So thank you for allowing me to be me and teaching me the value in believing in yourself. I’ll never forget and always love you ❤️.

Woof

I had a dream about my Siberian Husky, Blizzard. We were going for a walk, except it started with driving with him in the passenger seat of my Amigo, top down as a puppy.

We ended up walking around my hometown. He was a full grown dog at that point in my dream. We were looking for my son. I woke up before we made it to my moms house.

When you have dreams like that, they carry a sense of dread. My Blizzard is gone; but I still feel him and that memory always comes with a slight sliver of pain and sadness. I miss him a lot.

So I decided to draw to help me grieve a little. It’s weird to me because I’ve seen the equivalent of a small village dead at once. I’ve seen severe human suffering.

But it’s always the small, personal wounds to my payche that stay. I feel like I should forget at some point.

But I probably won’t.

I hope I don’t.

Safety over Freedom

It reads like a rant, right? It’s not. I’ll always pick freedom. But I also know better than to think things go away because I wish it.

Anyway…

I rarely draw kids. It’s not that I don’t like them; it’s that I don’t want to be trapped in the business of kids and pets. I have no interest in them.

But I do get it. My son was a little cutie, like this one. Curly hair and all. It took a long time to perfect those ringlets.

Drawing loved ones isn’t the same. It’s an interesting challenge, because you don’t really see the person only. You see them through the lens of your affection for them.

That makes it difficult to accurately judge what you are seeing. Even the most ordinary act can seem to be wonderful in such light, to say nothing of the person. To me my mom looks young and has a special glow.

You aren’t able to see that for the loved ones of others. Sometimes your interpretation of a person or pet can actually upset a customer.

People often don’t understand that an artist has developed a style that they may not appreciate. We’re not Xerox copiers and I’ve had a few experiences where expectations didn’t sync up with the reality.

That’s why it’s important to communicate with your client; if they are interested in a commission of any type, find out WHY they think that you’d make a great choice. Are they fans of your work? Did they pick you out of a hat? What are the expectations of the final work? How do they feel about the subject? Can they tell you a story about them?

Emotional stuff is NEVER irrelevant.