Tag Archives: expectations

Yeah

What’s the weirdest day that you’ve had so far this year? Mine was Sunday and it involved This picture…

So, when I draw publicly, I usually meet two kinds of people: those who love my work and others. Well I met a new version of human, the student artist.

God help me.

I had a wonderful young lady with horrible self esteem sit right next to me and begin trying to draw the EXACT SAME PICTURE. I didn’t say anything. I let it go.

Then she nudges me to ask for paper. I looked at her and handed her one sheet of my marker paper. Not happy about it, but it wasn’t worth making a scene.

Then she tried to grab some markers.

I took them back and told her that this wasn’t group activity. So she screamed at me and threw her coffee and left.

I have no idea why it happened. It definitely killed my mood. I actually had a girl ask me if my girlfriend was okay! I explained that I didn’t know her and that she was taking my supplies. She didn’t seem to believe me.

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       All phases of my life are at full throttle right now. Art, work, home, gym. I’m not burning the candle at both ends; I tossed it into a furnace!

     This has lead me to believe that I’m pretty lazy at heart. I don’t necessarily WANT to be doing this. But for now art is my version of being lazy.

        I know it probably doesn’t seem that way. For every picture i post here every week, there are dozens that I don’t. But honestly it doesn’t feel like work(sometimes). I get lost in it.

      The best ones almost feel like puzzles, where I’m figuring out the best way to bring out what I’m seeing. It’s not always easy and can be frustrating, but I have a knack for it.

        Like most artists, I want to make a living from what I love to do. And unfortunately, like a lot of artists, I suck at salesmanship. But I’m doing something about it.

     I started this blog because after trying to kill myself, it seemed therapeutic to write about my drawing. It made me try to understand why and what I was doing. Prior to that it was all instinct.

  Now it help clears my head and I genuinely enjoy sharing it. I like writing more than i thought I would. And I’m seeing my art as more than just a hobby or therapy. 

Is Deep

      Thumbnails can be fun as long as you can keep from going overboard.Which I rarely attempt to do.

     So instead I let myself have fun with it; I take it however far it can go. Sometimes I make a simple drawing; others I get the lizard, lol. 

      I guess what I’m saying is that I’m learning to remove the limits I put on myself. That’sa good thing.

      Right?