Tag Archives: art life

Twilight

I’m going blind

I have glaucoma. It’s pretty far along. They were supposed to operate but I can’t afford it and now my right eye is almost completely gone. My left is down to 86%. And I’m freaking all the way out.

I’m not sure if they can save my eye. I hope so. But I’m really scared right now. I’ve drawn all my life. I don’t have any memories of not doing it. My job is photographer/video editor/ artists.

What happens when I lose my sight? Forever?

I don’t live with anyone. There’s no family nearby. And I suffer from the kind of mental issues that are mocking my continued efforts to not give in to despair. Suddenly that suicide thing that I’ve been holding at bay feels like a mercy killing.

As an artist, if you’d ask me what I feared more than anything, it would have been losing my sight, with losing my hands a close second.

I’m not close to anyone. I’ve been dealing with this by myself for months. The surgery can only save what’s left, maybe. And because it’s the optic nerve that’s dying…well, maybe it’s already done.

I gotta have the surgery. I need to. But my window is closing and soon it won’t matter. I’ll be in the dark. And I’ll never come back.

Made for Me

Some of you may remember the last time I drew this young lady. Probably not though. Well, to be honest, I do have a few people who are always available for this.

I guess you can call them my muses.

Of course Melissa, Rebekah, Velvet and Zoa are aware of their status. Which means that I often get to draw them and have used them for reference. It’s helpful.

The funny part (at least to me) is that whenever a new subject or image comes up, I get none of the “who’s she?” feedback that certain peers of mine do. I believe it’s because I’m not dating them. In fact at least one of them is married!

So much for the “sleeping around” artist theory, hahaha.

Anyway the reason I mention this is because sometimes when drawing in public, I catch a bit of flak from women who think that they’re the focus of my art. That’s NEVER the case.

So….no more attacking the artist publicly, okay? You’re going to be embarrassed when I show you an image of a car, dog, or someone else.

Beginner’s Luck

I missed Otakon.

More specifically, I worked through the anime convention this weekend and couldn’t attend.

So the anguish in this picture is very heartfelt.

Could I have made it Sunday? Sure, if you don’t mind getting a lesser version of the event. But that’s not my style. Real life and bad scheduling on my part ruined a great weekend.

So I took the time to work on my comic book style. I picked it up during #inktober a few years back, but haven’t really worked on it much recently.

My dream to do a comic is long dead; I want to make a self contained story because those are what I enjoy the most. Episodic works can be wonderful, if you have the time and interest.

But I am not sure that I can maintain interest in any story that long, honestly. I think I have a few big graphic novels in me and they could MAYBE break up well….

But I doubt it.

I know that it sounds as though I’m being negative; still, six great stories or a bunch of mediocre crap? That’s no contest.

I’ll take the Icarus option.

Hootenanny

I drew this to prove a point. I was accused of not really arting and of stealing my own work! At first I thought that it was a joke, but it turns out that someone else had posted one of my pictures as theirs!

So I told the loudmouth to pick an image and I would draw it the same day. This is what he chose.

So I began to work on it immediately. I didn’t like being accused of crap. And others were online defending me, but I didn’t care. I was out to prove a point.

When I finished I asked if he believed me now. He then apologized and asked if he could have the drawing for proof. I said no. And this is where it gets bizarre!

He began ranting about what a crappy artist I was and how I hadn’t wanted to draw it anyway, so I should just be “cool” and give it to him. Finally the lightbulb went off. I’d been scammed!

There was never “another artist”. He simply wanted me to draw this image and tricked me into doing so. I felt really dumb. I just stopped engaging him in conversation.

Lesson learned.

Surprise!

I have to admit; people can still surprise me. Here I am, sitting at my desk and I was drawing a blank. So I decided to change locales and took a lunch at Starbucks.

I decided to draw a car, but from the inside. I used to own a 66 mustang, which seemed like the perfect vehicle; simple and purpose built.

Of course, people started to crowd around. I’m used to it at this point and most are willing to let you work in peace and simply watch.

Most.

This one guy was VERY persistent. To be honest, he was getting on my nerves! But I stayed calm. I was in a public space after all. My desk was starting to seem like an oasis at this point.

The car that lead to the image I drew #rita

So…I explained. Turns out, he owns a 66 mustang. And you know what? He bought the drawing on the spot. I was a little surprised. But I learned a lesson. From now on, I’ll think “customer interaction” BEFORE I think “interruption”.

Void

Well, it’s that time of year when people approach me to draw really buff women. I don’t mind ❤️

Believe it or not, the whole thing is something that flowed from a lifelong love of weightlifting for me. I have absolutely no problem with a woman trying to be as strong as she wants.

Of course my first show as a spectator made me want to draw these superhuman physiques. And the ladies were more amiable and less guarded than the guys when asked. So I naturally started there.

Having someone willing to pose for dramatic effect was a turning point for me. I’d never had an opportunity to do still life drawing; so I relished having access to people so willing. I guess you can say that I gained a new artistic appreciation for bodybuilders.

I try not to over sexualize the people I draw. That component is there of course, but it’s not the point.

If you’re trying to get the same effect in your work, you have to understand that the people you’re drawing ARE PEOPLE. I do the same thing with cosplay. I find it brings out the best in them.

Sometimes it’s good to just draw an emotion. It keeps things simple, but gives a clean look. I actually like those best.

So that’s that! Now you have an answer for my drawings of women being mostly muscular.

Oddly enough, no one wants an off-season image of themselves, lol.

There are a few exceptions. And honestly, if you’re one, let me know, because I’d love to do more pictures like this one.

Misplaced

So… I got kicked out of a Facebook group. I had a blank lunch and decided to draw a few cars. So I posted a request for pictures on a thread. I got a bunch of replies and started doodling away!

Then suddenly, I couldn’t add them. And I was no longer in the group. Understand; I didn’t charge anyone. And I only drew cars for a short while. Oh well…

I did this one for a daily drawing page. Honestly I went a little overboard with the skirt, lol. I try to draw these for time, so they aren’t always my best. Do you recognize the character? Because I’ve drawn her before…

Now this one is of a lady that I find to be funny and honest. She’s a fitness trainer, but you’d never know it looking at her. Then she flexes and BOOM! Muscles out of nowhere, lol.

I HATE using pencils with my prismacolor markers! For one thing, the stupid lead is easily absorbed into the brush tip, completely ruining it. At $6.99 a marker that SUCKS.

Sometimes using a rag to brush off the excess works…

Sometimes.

I used to do pallets for these and still do, usually. But I have enough experience with certain skin tones that it’s unnecessary. Besides, I gave myself a 30 minute time limit. I’m training myself to make videos and I’m trying to keep the time down. So get ready!

So, when I was done, I presented her my picture and she LOVED it! That’s a really awesome feeling. Vindication!!

At least she didn’t kick me out of her group.