Tag Archives: art

All the Stars

Hope you guys had a great weekend! They’re always so short, huh? Anyway here’s an hour of my Saturday…

I’ve been asked before about why I don’t do more complicated pieces. Mostly it’s because I tend to draw for my personal enjoyment. Recently though, I’ve had a few things pop into my head; I just don’t know what format that I would want to use.

Oh well…I suppose that I could go back to digital. It’s just that I spend all day working on projects that way. And I have about 48 motorcycles that I may have to draw!

Wish me luck! 🙀

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[un] avoidable happiness

It’s been super busy for me in life recently. To begin with, I have a new job! It’s going to allow me the time to do some of the work I’m interested in. More on that later…

I found an old sketchpad. Well, I guess “new” would be more appropriate since it’s been in a cabinet unused for this entire time (5 years!). As soon as I started working with it, I knew it for what it was.

A damn great medium.

It allows me to give my markers an almost watercolor feel. That level of detail and control is exactly what I’m looking for.

Plus, now that I’m riding the commuter train again, it’s portable enough for my needs!

So I have a few weeks before #inktober kicks off and I expect to get in a lot of practice.

Luckily, my life seems to be making a turn. I’m holding out hope. 😊

Asphyxiation

I have had a crazy couple of weeks! First, I went to work for a new company and they were really awesome people. Then, I was hired by the federal government! Yep, pension, benefits and horrible commuting! Today is actually my first day.

So I drew this weekend. A LOT.

The mustang is from a photo that I took at a car show. I was trying to combine my style with that of another artist, whose look I admire. Hopefully it comes off pretty well.

Next, since the CrossFit games were on, I decided to do a strong lady flexing. If you know me you know I’m all about those, lol…

For an old classmate, I did a commission of our high school mascot. It’s been a while since I’ve drawn animals, but people seem to like them.

Then there’s THIS abomination. Ugh. I drew this and the whole body is drifting towards the right because I held the tablet on my knee. ALWAYS do your work properly, kids. Lesson learned.😑

Anyway, that was that. I had fun and got rid of some of my nerves. Wish me luck!

I’m not well right now. I can’t really seem to stop crying and I thought drawing something would make me feel better.

It’s not.

Maybe if I could stop having nightmares. Maybe if I could clear my memory. Maybe if I could me and not a ghost of me.

That’s the REAL problem. I feel like there are two of me and one is happy and the other is me. And this pain in my chest in my head in every part of me is something I need to let go, but I can’t. I can’t.

Isn’t that what a ghost is? A spirit that can’t let go?

So how do I REALLY know that I’m alive? Is it this pain? Am I supposed to feel this from now on? What if I can’t. I get so tired from it, but it’s all I know somedays. I live between pain and nothing.

I can’t let go of my family. I’ve tried. But it feels as though my arm is being slowly torn off. There’s just a few strips of muscle, bone and sinew but I can’t take anymore pain. So I stop.

Crying when you don’t want to. Panic attacks. Laughing jags. I’m trying to be strong. I’m trying to trick myself into breathing, but it’s not always easy. I can only draw when I am unhappy.

I want to be numb again. But sometimes I can’t tell if I’m alive and I’m scared that I’m not. I’m scared that I’m not with my family because I can’t be.

I’m not going back to the hospital. I’m not done fighting. I’m just tired.

A tired ghost. Ha.

Unmore

If someone asked you for a “really quick” image, for free, how would you respond? Now make it a total stranger. What would you do?

I went ahead and did it.

I can’t explain why I did. It could be because I was drifting on my actual project and needed the distraction. Or maybe I felt sorry for the kid. Either way, they got an image made on typing paper.

It was nice and definitely pulled me out of my funk. It also reminded me that I could work faster than I had been…

…but there was still an image to get back to. I couldn’t just spend all my time playing around so in the end, they got this:

Maybe next time I’ll say no. We’ll see.

Wizards come Out

I can’t believe that I sold this photo right after completing it! The lady who bought it was very respectful and sat quietly while I worked on it.

Most of the time when I’m drawing I am completely unaware of my surroundings. However, I can feel when someone is watching me. All artists can actually, we’re just a little busy, hahaha.

So I was able to take my time, such as it was. It took around two hours to complete the image; my coffee was cold and the place was a bit more crowded than when I started. But then, as I was putting away my things, she spoke.

“Did you draw that for anyone?”she asked. When I replied that I hadn’t, she asked me a lot of questions about my process and why I’d chosen this particular subject. She was very pleasant, so I didn’t mind, but her next question surprised me.

“May I buy it?”

“Yes ma’am” I answered. We agreed upon a price and she paid it. The only thing she asked was that I sign it, which I did.

I was very happy when I left Starbucks that day. It was one of the few times that my work was bought that quickly.

Best day of the month. 😊

Kill

Man, it’s getting to be a hassle to find art time nowadays! This started out as an example; draw a scene as an exercise. I had no idea what would come from it!

After posting it into several groups that I’m a member of, someone contacted me and wanted to know my “page rate” . Durr?

I asked others about this innocently expecting a simple answer. Because I never learn. Because I believe in humans.

Because I’m dumb.

Next thing I know, I’m being blasted with hate mail! “You didn’t invent #killbill”, “that’s intellectual property”, “you’re a hack”….it went on and on.

Ugh. “Okay so BECAUSE someone liked my practice page, they asked me to draw THEIR ORIGINAL COMIC. Also, learn reading comprehension, assholes”, I replied.

So, I finally got some decent advice and discovered that the person asking had two other artists who hadn’t been paid for work rendered. I gave up.

I’ll draw what I want.