Hardness

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         I’m heading on to my next drawing. Because I have to complete a lot of them, I’m getting a lot of practice. With all of the time I’m spending on this, I actually feel more centered and peaceful.

         My girlfriend is being pretty understanding, so I try to do nice things for her, like restaurants and stuff. After all, being supportive is important to me. So I fully intend to return the favor.

        In fact, since I dedicated myself to drawing, my life has gotten better. I shouldn’t be surprised though.

        My art feeds from any negative emotions or experiences in my life. I’ve always known this intellectually. But there was a decade long span in which I didn’t draw. I was angry and hurt.

       My wife left me.

        I instinctively began drawing after my suicide attempt.

      I’ll admit it; I sucked hard at first. But I felt better. But something was missing and it took awhile to get it. Darkness and sadness can’t be allowed to build up or it can overwhelm you. I let my pride in my own resistance blind me to my truth.

      …I guess I’m a good person. I just feed on bad emotions. Mine. Yours.

      Feed me.

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