Tag Archives: choices

Be

    Yay! I actually got permission to post my digital art! Maybe I was wrong to give the choice, but I feel that portraits​ are kinda personal. 

     I’ve been so busy with repairing my home. It’s a little over one hundred years old and it’s last update was in the 80’s. I’m not trying to go too modern, but things like floor sag and bad rafters come before the pretty stuff. Foundations first!

     Maybe I should just enjoy this period of my life. After all, it hasn’t been this quiet in a long time. No impending doom, just everyday things. I should be content.

    Ha! Who am I fooling? Even though it’s true, that’s just not my nature. After a decade of nothing but one emergency after another, there is no way I could fully believe that calm waters are ahead. But is that experience or paranoia?

    I gave up on happy. It abandoned me. My world has been mostly grey with occasional flashes of color. I’ve come to accept it, even appreciate those rare instances.

    Was I wrong? Could it be?

     Here’s the truth; I WANT to be. I really do. I know it’s a little like giving up on life the way I live. But I’m not sorry. It’s my way of… I’m getting my affairs in order. That’s all I’ve been doing. Stalling in the hopes that it isn’t necessary, but keeping my distance from life so that I won’t mind parting with it.

    Dammit.

   Okay. I need to start doing more than getting by. I need to find joy in little things. Like my art. It doesn’t need to be complicated because now I know what I want!
  I want to be.

 

If it Lives it Dies

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     That exceptionally handsome young man is the son of a soldier. He’s the grandson of one as well and the father of a soldier. My family are soldiers like Skywalkers are Jedi.

   

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      I grew up saying the pledge of allegiance. I was a cub scout,  boy scout, and Captain America was my favorite superhero. Of course I knew we weren’t perfect; I grew up in the south in the 70’s and there was no hiding from THAT. But I picked fights with bullies and loved rock(i.e. classic rock). I was fine.

      I guess I still serve my country. My jobs since I got out have been with various agencies. But I do it from outside now.

      I dream of people I killed occasionally.

     Being a patriot isn’t about blindly thinking your country is perfect. It’s about having a family, knowing a few have serious problems and trying to work it out.
 
      Do what you can when you can to be supportive. And loving your family doesn’t mean you automatically hate everyone else,  right?