Tag Archives: colored pencils

Twilight

I’m going blind

I have glaucoma. It’s pretty far along. They were supposed to operate but I can’t afford it and now my right eye is almost completely gone. My left is down to 86%. And I’m freaking all the way out.

I’m not sure if they can save my eye. I hope so. But I’m really scared right now. I’ve drawn all my life. I don’t have any memories of not doing it. My job is photographer/video editor/ artists.

What happens when I lose my sight? Forever?

I don’t live with anyone. There’s no family nearby. And I suffer from the kind of mental issues that are mocking my continued efforts to not give in to despair. Suddenly that suicide thing that I’ve been holding at bay feels like a mercy killing.

As an artist, if you’d ask me what I feared more than anything, it would have been losing my sight, with losing my hands a close second.

I’m not close to anyone. I’ve been dealing with this by myself for months. The surgery can only save what’s left, maybe. And because it’s the optic nerve that’s dying…well, maybe it’s already done.

I gotta have the surgery. I need to. But my window is closing and soon it won’t matter. I’ll be in the dark. And I’ll never come back.

Void

Well, it’s that time of year when people approach me to draw really buff women. I don’t mind ❤️

Believe it or not, the whole thing is something that flowed from a lifelong love of weightlifting for me. I have absolutely no problem with a woman trying to be as strong as she wants.

Of course my first show as a spectator made me want to draw these superhuman physiques. And the ladies were more amiable and less guarded than the guys when asked. So I naturally started there.

Having someone willing to pose for dramatic effect was a turning point for me. I’d never had an opportunity to do still life drawing; so I relished having access to people so willing. I guess you can say that I gained a new artistic appreciation for bodybuilders.

I try not to over sexualize the people I draw. That component is there of course, but it’s not the point.

If you’re trying to get the same effect in your work, you have to understand that the people you’re drawing ARE PEOPLE. I do the same thing with cosplay. I find it brings out the best in them.

Sometimes it’s good to just draw an emotion. It keeps things simple, but gives a clean look. I actually like those best.

So that’s that! Now you have an answer for my drawings of women being mostly muscular.

Oddly enough, no one wants an off-season image of themselves, lol.

There are a few exceptions. And honestly, if you’re one, let me know, because I’d love to do more pictures like this one.

Greydae Blue

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      Aaargh! I lost more of my pencils! This couldn’t happen at a worse time. Since I was in D.C., I decided to go online and search for art supply stores in the area. Not only did one turn up, they had the original mixed media prismacolors!

    I immediately struck out to get to their store. The first leg of the journey was easy; I got on the redline of the metro and rode until we arrived at the North Farragut entrance. Took the escalator up into a gloomy Washington day. Then I had to walk up K street.

      For four blocks.

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Was I happy to see this place!

       Of course I became turned around until a good Samaritan told me that it was in the building next to the CVS store on the other side of the street. Once there I walked up to the counter with a little trepidation. Maybe they sold out or didn’t carry them anymore. I was suddenly nervous.

     “Do you guys carry prismacolor pencils? “I asked, barely concealing my anxiety.

     Yes! Yay!

     The staff was very friendly and courteous to me and I was able to acquire my prize.

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Mission accomplished!

       Suddenly remembering I’d used up an hour of my 30 minute lunch,  I thanked them profusely and left. It seemed so much brighter outside. Hadn’t it been raining when I got here? Oh well…