Tag Archives: illustration

Concentrate

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      I wish I could show you how much my life is affected by nightmares. There are a lot of days where everything is fine. I can take a lot at that time, few things bother me. But I’m not having peaceful nights.

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       I have vivid nightmares connected to my service time. No, I won’t say what; just know that I wake up being completely terrified. I eventually become depressed. It’s a cycle and I dread it more than anything.

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         Daytime helps. When I draw, I find it odd that whatever emotion I felt in those dreams come back. A lot of good has come to me through art. But when I first noticed this trend, I stopped drawing. Completely.

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     Can you imagine? That’s like a duck moving into the desert! I just didn’t do anything that gave me a creative outlet.

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       Finally I slowly began to start drawing again. Other artists began to challenge me and welcome me.

     The nightmares started after an 18 year gap.

      I went to therapy. I even took some time as an inpatient when I became suicidal. I’m not ashamed to say I needed the help, badly.

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        Anyway I never will win that battle. I know that. It’s not a big deal anyway. I have goals about what I want to achieve that have nothing to do with who I was. I may not always be okay, but I can get past it.

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Them or You

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      It seems weird to see people stealing art to me. By stealing I don’t mean theft in the traditional way. I’m talking about claiming someone else’s credit and pieces.

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       I once had an experience that showed me how awful a practice this was, where someone in high school took one of my original pieces, traced it and begin to claim credit. Then he sold mine!

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      Needless to say I was very shocked and angry when I found out about this. I confronted my art teacher. You know what she said? “You shouldn’t get so attached to it”. That’s it. I laughed in her face and said “Of course. You steal kids art all the time, why should I expect a sham artists to get it?”

       Then I went out and beat the crap out of that kid. Yeah, yeah…life isn’t always about positive lessons. And I felt much better afterward.

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     I am a lot older now, but the lesson of that moment, over time, has only been reinforced. Just as there are fake soldiers claiming to be warriors, there’s always going to be faux artists.

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     If you are one of them STOP IT! Work at your craft! When I hear people put down hardworking artists who’ve paid their dues in thousands of hours of practice. It usually because seeing that level of talent makes them feel inferior. But everyone had to learn and get better. Hell, I still have a LONG way to go! But step by step I’m on the journey.

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      The path is a well-known one. So get on!

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Help! Squirrels!

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       Just a quick sketch of Dean Winchester from the show “Supernatural”.That is, if I gave him less forehead, lol! I’m actually getting ready to create a piece with the Winchester and Ventures. It’s going to be a two part image, juxtaposing supernatural against superscience. In the meantime I’m doing thumbnails with stickies☺

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      Hope you guys enjoy it!  I’ve got to get back to work. Later.

It’s Too Bad About Me

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    I’m trying to keep my sanity lately. My usual cycle is to feel better,  stop my meds then feel worse. But the good thing about#inktober is that it’s helping me with my perspective.

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     Inking with brushes takes a lot longer than using pens! Still, I like knowing how to ink the old fashioned way.

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        Sometimes the backgrounds take me even longer than the main image. My real job puts me in hotels occasionally, so I know what they look like. That means this one was easier.

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        Oh and it will be nude. Did I mention that? Sorry I’m freshly medicated so my attention span is…off.

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Brand Loyalty

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        It takes a lot of patience and effort to keep your life on track. Lately I’ve had to readjust some priorities, but the good news is that my art gained more consideration.

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      After visiting Artists Alley at Comic-Con,  I received a lot of support. I really didn’t expect it;  I had professional artists telling me I should be one of them! Vindication; don’t knock it until you receive it, am I right?

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        Anyway I’m supposed to be doing a calendar for next year. I’m pretty stoked.
     Wish me skill, not luck. I’m gonna need it!

Localized Love

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        A LOT of the time,  I draw without being conscious of it. It’s something I’ve always done. You’d get a better answer if you asked me when I started breathing.

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   This year I’ve started some major personal projects. I’m hoping to get one published, so everything about it matters. Still, I can’t make the part that just draws shut down.

    But I know how. All I have to do…is be happy.

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     When I’m happy,  I can’t draw. It means that I tap into negative energy to do so. I’m trying to learn to create without doing so, but it’s hard when the emotions have to be at the surface.

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     Of course, I can’t wait. So I feed the beast whenever it howls, and hope to work on my projects in between. It could be worse, right?

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Metal on Metal

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    So whenever I have to deal with the public (i.e. humans) I become a nervous wreck. It’s not that I lack confidence; they are mostly slow and unsure themselves. It makes for difficult interactions when you realize that the person is afraid of you.

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Ok, maybe a shave and haircut and smile would help...

     That makes it extra special when someone says yes! So I met a wonderful young lady who bravely agreed to let me photograph her for a drawing.

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     The entire thing was done during the train ride and presented to her. She was ecstatic!  Plus I received a lot of comments about it. A good day all around.
      Now I need to do a little portfolio padding. So I’m going to be doing more complete images, including backgrounds. Here we go!

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Happy customer!

Two Dimensional Worlds

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   First the good news. Jezebelle and I are registered for a car show!  For those not in the know,  that’s the name of my Mustang. I also have a bodybuilding show to attend,  so hopefully I’ll get lots of commissions. Send me good vibes, ok?

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     Now for the rest of the story…to me, this is an incomplete picture. I’ve been trying to mix my prismacolor and markers together to make a more interesting look. Well yesterday I had someone accuse me of gluing a photo onto paper!

     This person claimed to be an artist and it really upset me,  because they did it publicly at the train station in D.C.. Others were there and I was about to say something when this senior lady named Bethany called her out. She told her how she’d watched me draw the eyes from over my shoulder and that a so called real artist should be able to see that. I was so relieved! Bethany,  wherever you are,  thank you!

My Sweet Forever Never

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       Okay by now it should be abundantly clear that I have a type. Everyone does, not everyone can admit it, even to themselves. There’s nothing wrong with that; if we all like the same things there’d be no variety. The problem comes when you like something that doesn’t return the affection or worse, can be detrimental to you. I love Lamborghinis, but if I bought one I’d have to live in it!

     Likewise there may be a style of art that you admire greatly that you find almost impossible to master. Oh you know all the technical rules and have strived to be coherent in it. But it could be that your natural style opposes this.  Meanwhile you’re the world greatest at creating space illustrations. So here’s my questions:

     Do you continue to be mediocre at something you’re interested in? Or do you go the easy route to greatness and acclaim?

Unexpected

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          I think this year for my vacation I’m going to stay in the mainland. Too close to not wanting that extra effort to pay off. It’s not something I can put a finger on. But I will.

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          This is Lee Haney,  8 times Mr Olympia. I met him years ago and was impressed most by his demeanor. Here was a man who had every reason to be a narcissistic ass, but he wasn’t. He showed me that greatness that self evaluates is greatness controlled. I draw him occasionally, usually when I’m doing my own evaluation.

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         Hopefully you guys are doing the same. Whether in art or life.

Always know you.