Tag Archives: life

Break[me]

      I’ve already made EIGHT images this year! Didn’t even realize it until someone else told me. It’s gotta be a new record for me.

    All of themare improvements over what I was doing at this point last year. I guess practice makes perfect after all. 

     In the interest of full disclosure, the end of last year required me to spend a few days checked into my favorite mental health center. I’m okay now. I’ll always fight to be okay. It’s my only real job: living.

      Last time you guys got to see the early version of my pricelist. A few of the upper range things changed; their price points were slightly off. But overall, I’ve gotten pretty positive feedback. The commission list is almost full for this month, with more work planned for next month. Dare I dream?…

      My life isn’t quite where I want it to be, but at this point its just a matter of tweaks. My business plan and life plan are on track and as long as I keep my PTSD and isolation in check, you guys can expect a better level of art.

    So if you have any questions, comments or requests, pass them along! You guys have been here for the ride and hopefully the finish line for this level is in sight 😊.

    I wish you peace and prosperity in the New Year.

New Year, Old Me

    I know, I know… I haven’t been around much. The death of a loved one affects us all in predictable ways. Moving on…

     I’ve caught up (almost) to all my commission based work! I’ve done well this year and look forward to next year being even better! But for now a few people have decided to let me put their images on my page. How nice!

     Of course, some of my favorite projects are going to be in a slightly larger size this year. Now that I have a fancy tilting drafting table, it’s game on! Purchased with the proceeds of my work of course 😊.

      I’m still doing black and white studies for people. It amazes me how much a simple drawing can reach others. And good news! Now that I know what my supplies and time are worth, I have a price index…

         so looking forward to drawing a LOT.

       

My best friend is dead.

I haven’t been able to do anything but bury him. His mother hates me and he hated her, so he left me everything. He wanted to be cremated; she buried him, against his wishes. Now she’s trying to charge me for the funeral. 

I can’t deal with this. I had to ask his lawyer for the location. He asked about her being at the reading of the will and told me he didn’t want her to have anything. So I didn’t tell her. 

This has been a terrible couple of weeks, guys.

I’m trying to draw, but nothing is coming out.

I’m trying.

Autumn Warmth

    This weekend I did absolutely nothing. I drank a lot. Slept. Watched the Crossfit Games on tv. I’ve been really active for a while now and it was a welcome break.

      It was something my dad told me once, “work smarter, not harder”. Sometimes we fall into the trap of believing that if we redouble our efforts we can improve our circumstances. “Always be on your grind” is the new catchphrase. It’s bullshit, of course. How much of that effort is simply wasted energy?

     So instead I sat, rested and thought. I organized my ideas, set goals and made a plan. I’m giving myself six months to achieve my goals. 

     I have a lot of artwork, both digital and traditional. There’s no reason I shouldn’t be presenting it in the best light. Hell, last month alone I made 38 pieces! 

     So I took a weekend to be lay about and consider my near future. Today I’m doing my business plan. I’m going through my social media and determining which pieces got the most responses. That’ll help me find my audience.  I’m also going to set up an artist page on Facebook. But first I need to make sure my chosen product is in its best light. 

    Thanks for being here while I built up a portfolio. But don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere! You guys are valuable to me. You help clear my head and allow me to talk about my life. I need that sometimes. So you get to continue being along for the ride.

Buckle up.πŸ˜‰

Crumple Zones

Apparently, my family has big plans for my trip home on Thanksgiving. Personally, I’m just trying to lose enough weight to meet my end of year goals, but my mom has other ideas.

      My work is coming along nicely. I can’t wait for this month to be over! There are a lot of reasons, with the whole issue of art projects being a small part.

     I also have home repair, and several work projects that require travel. It’s as though life waited until #inktober to pile on!

    Still, I’m a little amazed at my ability to juggle all of it. What was so daunting at the start of the month has become at worst a mildly exasperating endeavor. And I can see the end of the month rapidly approaching.

 Go me.

Telekinetic Tykes Taste Terrible

    I have to get more organized! I have the script for multiple pages and the time to knock out a few every week. Good right? Well…

      The problem is that I still have a full time job. A great one, but it kinda consumes a lot of my time. I try not to let it get out of hand. With all the video production planned this month, it’s been a bit of a tightrope. 

     So I’ve decided to eliminate any and all social interaction for now. Except I’m doing photography and video at a pro bodybuilding show this weekend and that’s VERY time consuming! What have I done?! How am I going to meet my obligations? WHAT IF I FAIL?!!!!

                        *deep breaths*

     Okay. I have six pages. It’s no Illiad, but a short story should still be worth telling. I’ll give it my best, as always.

     At least you guys are in it with me. Thanks for that. 😊

Keep it Apart

       So with #inktober fast approaching, my apprehension about my upcoming project is high. While I believe in my abilities, it’s a pretty daunting task!

   Luckily for me, I’m used to producing results in a timely manner. This past year has left me with huge improvements in my skillset; the script writing was a new skill as well as inking. 

    Lots of artist will be participating this year, so I’m honestly excited about the prospect. Hopefully I impress a lot of people, but the experience will tell me a lot. 

    In the meantime, I’m wrapping up all the pending images I had to complete, like this one. Some people aren’t expecting theirs yet. Oh well… I’m not going to rush, but come Friday, I expect to have completed five.

    I’ll be posting here of course. You guys will get to see plenty of work. 

Entertain US

       All phases of my life are at full throttle right now. Art, work, home, gym. I’m not burning the candle at both ends; I tossed it into a furnace!

     This has lead me to believe that I’m pretty lazy at heart. I don’t necessarily WANT to be doing this. But for now art is my version of being lazy.

        I know it probably doesn’t seem that way. For every picture i post here every week, there are dozens that I don’t. But honestly it doesn’t feel like work(sometimes). I get lost in it.

      The best ones almost feel like puzzles, where I’m figuring out the best way to bring out what I’m seeing. It’s not always easy and can be frustrating, but I have a knack for it.

        Like most artists, I want to make a living from what I love to do. And unfortunately, like a lot of artists, I suck at salesmanship. But I’m doing something about it.

     I started this blog because after trying to kill myself, it seemed therapeutic to write about my drawing. It made me try to understand why and what I was doing. Prior to that it was all instinct.

  Now it help clears my head and I genuinely enjoy sharing it. I like writing more than i thought I would. And I’m seeing my art as more than just a hobby or therapy. 

All the Mondays

     This weekend I received a message asking if I’d be interested in doing a cover for a comic book! I was so excited! But I didn’t want to rush it, so I took time to come to with some questions about the gig. Then I went back into messenger to write back.

   I couldn’t find it!!

     I’ve been in a panic. Did they rescind the offer? Did I delete it by mistake? Hell, did I imagine it? So upset!

     Ordinarily a happy ending comes through on these things. So far, nope. What if that was my one chance?

     No chance.

    I’m not super handsome and not 1β„… smart, but I have two things going for me; talent and perseverance. I’ll get more chances as long as I continue to improve. 

     I know that reads like arrogance. It’s really more… confidence. I know my story will end the way I want. There’s just stuff I need to do to get there. 

     It’ll be okay.

      Everything starts with faith in yourself. And you won’t know you have it until things start to suck, lol

  You can do it😊

It’s Raining Bricks

      So…I bore easily. Really, REALLY easily and art has always been the way I daydream. It allowed me to create whole worlds and explore trains of thought otherwise denied to me. I couldn’t imagine NOT having the ability; it is my mutant power after all.

      But I did lose it. Which should have been a sign that I’d lost myself as well, but I didn’t notice in the mess that my sanity was becoming. In the end I lost everything I cared about and did some inpatient time in a mental care facility.

    Yeah, not my best moment. But it doesn’t even make the top ten list, so no worries.

     One of the things that they offered me, besides a lot of pills, was a chance to draw. They were stunned at what I could do; so was I, having almost completely forgotten. By degrees, I rebuilt me. By hand.

    You could say art saved me. I regained my sense of self. Accepted a new role with my family. Got a new job. I turned it around. 

     Art was there when I was down and out. Now I draw everyday. I have customers, which I still find weird, hahaha. I’m content.

    No happy ending. But my happy place is only a thought away.